I did not know how to love, or even how to receive love, but I did know that it meant to treat them well.
Love is the reason why I was considerate on his behalf. I felt this way for this child. All I could do, I would do for her, and do it well.
Ashton looked at me thoughtfully. “And what about me? Am I even somebody important in your life? All Marcus left for you are regrets. What about me? Does it make a difference to you that we are married?”
I knew perfectly well what Ashton wanted. He wanted me to need him and hold him in my heart.
The light in the bedroom was dim, but his eyes appeared strangely bright. We stared at each other; I was at a loss for words.
After a long while, Ashton let go of me and stepped back a few paces dejectedly. He smiled sarcastically to himself.
“Good for you, Scarlett.” He turned to leave, but I reached out and grabbed his arm.
I had things I wanted to say to him from my heart, and almost instinctively, I blurted, “I want more than anybody else to place you first, but I’m afraid that if one day I find myself unable to leave you, you’ll be the one to leave.”
He turned back and looked at me with a penetrative gaze. “Was that why you neglected my feelings? Out of all the people in your heart, you chose to hurt only me?”
I shook my head and felt terrible about the pain in his eyes. “No, I’ve never meant to hurt you. I just don’t feel secure. I’m afraid that you would leave me and not want me anymore.”
Ashton was startled. His slim frame stiffened as he pulled me in for a tight hug. “Don’t be silly,” he whispered huskily in my ear.
We hugged for a while, with my head on his chest. “No matter how badly we fight, we should never threaten to leave each other, alright? Scarlett, I will never let you go, and I’ll never divorce you.”
I said nothing. I was stupid for not knowing how to be married.
It was the end of the year. Most of the staff in the company were on leave, but Ashton was still here.
Mrs. Eriksen did not celebrate New Year’s with us, so it was only me and Ashton left.
I brought him over to Glenwood. Nick was still hard at work as his company did not allow leaves, and Jackson was busy caring for Summer.
When he opened the door to me and Ashton, he froze in surprise. Swiftly, he rearranged his features into an expression of serene indifference and reported, “Summer just fell asleep.”
I nodded and entered. “Was she alright last night?”
“Yeah, not too bad,” he replied as his gaze fell on Ashton and quickly looked away.
I recalled his incident at the college and attempted to make introductions. “This is Jackson, my friend from college. You should be acquainted with him.”
Jackson glared at me. Turning to Ashton, he smiled apologetically and said, “Mr. Fuller, nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Ashton responded.
Ashton exuded a cold and unfriendly presence; I found him unapproachable. After introductions with Jackson, he left to visit Summer.
I tugged on Ashton’s arm and followed Jackson to Summer’s bedroom. She had her milk formula and was fast asleep.
Ashton looked stunned when he saw Summer and raised his hand as if to caress her, but pulled back on second thought.
I guess all men are like that. They don’t know how to deal with newborns.
Jackson brought Summer’s dirty clothes to the laundry room. “Do you plan on taking the medicine today?” He turned to me and asked.
It was an awkward moment. I looked away at Summer’s underfed frame and nodded. “Yes.”
He stole a glance at Ashton and saw him watching the child too. Jackson raised his eyebrows and departed the room, leaving behind me and Ashton.
He was transfixed by Summer. After a long while of staring at her, he asked, “Is she Jared’s?”
I did not expect him to ask this. “No…” I jumped and shook my head.
I sensed his inquiring gaze and lowered mine. The words that came to my lips went unsaid.
“Does Jared know?” he went on as he stroked Summer’s cheek with one long finger.
“No, he doesn’t,” I replied. As Ashton probably guessed everything at this point, I had no reason to hide it from him anymore.
He nodded and watched as Summer smiled in her sleep. It was a pretty sight. “We’ll let Mr. Kane make the preparations, and then we’ll register her. Since it’s the New Year, we could take her back to my family and let them meet her.”
Ashton noticed that I didn’t respond and frowned. “What is it?” he asked.
“Nothing.” I shook my head, but my heart was filled with a warm glow.
“Thank you, Ashton!” I said after a brief pause. Caring for Summer was something I had to do, and it really made matters easier for me that he decided to think of her as his own.
Jackson prepared the herbal remedy for me. It was a big bowl of dark liquid, and it made my stomach turn just looking at it. But it had to be done.
I pinched my nose and gulped it down. Almost by reflex, Jackson handed me a lozenge. “The doctor said that you need to massage yourself along with the medicine, and an adult should test it out.”
