The door opened, and I heard two people walking in. Still, I paid no mind and continued groveling on the floor.
“It’s not healthy to lie on a cold floor like that.” Julia and Gordon lifted me off the cold tile and helped me get back into my wheelchair.
“Did you guys come here to chase me away, too?” I choked out as I covered my eyes with both hands. I didn’t want to cry, but the tears flowed against my will. Both of them inhaled sharply at the sight; they hadn’t meant to make me shed tears.
Julia sighed and slipped her hand in Gordon’s so she could pull both of them into a deep bow. I couldn’t see them, but I could feel it because the sound of their breathing went from above my face to about my waist.
“What are you guys doing? Please get up. I don’t deserve this.” I quickly tried to pull them upright.
“You do. You deserve this for everything you’ve done for my son. I’m sorry you had to go through so much, child,” Julia said as she walked toward me and pulled me into her arms. “You have no idea how grateful I am toward you. I don’t even know what to say to you. I can’t believe you never thought of yourself and did everything for Chris’ sake.”
I let out a small smile as I lay comfortably in her embrace. How warm, I thought. Is this what a mother’s love feels like? I knew Christopher was lucky for having such good parents, but I didn’t feel jealous at all. After all, he treated me just as well.
All I wanted was for his loved ones to be able to heal the wound I knew I would inflict after I left. I wanted him to be able to look forward to things and continue living happily without me.
“Monica said you turned down the offer of money. To be frank with you, that was my idea. I’ve seen a fair share of people in my years, but I’ve never seen anyone like you. You’re the best young lady I’ve ever met. Please don’t overthink our intentions. All we want is to give back to you. Please take the money, alright? We won’t be able to live it down if you don’t.”
“I don’t want any money from you. Instead of giving me cash to repay me, just love Christopher more. Pay more attention to him, and please don’t let him get depressed. Let him live his life however he wants with whoever he wants and let him be happy. Also, he’s picky with his food and hates cilantro and onions, but he especially loves spicy food, so—”
I couldn’t continue any further due to the lump of emotions that had wedged itself in my throat. It emerged in a thick sob. I want to see him. I want to caress his cheek, and I want to see him one last time.
“You should go and see him,” Julia said as she patted me on the head. Her tone was firm as if she had just made a huge decision to say that.
I looked up at her in disbelief before shaking my head frantically. “No, I can’t. If I go, I’ll never leave. If I see him, I won’t be able to let him go.”
“Don’t worry. The doctors gave him a sedative, so he’s fast asleep. Go and say goodbye. It’s the only thing I can do for you now.”
I walked back into the ward on unsteady feet. The expensive VIP hospital ward was practically a hotel suite; it was equipped with a living area and a kitchen. My eyes skipped past all that, and I felt myself being wheeled in Christopher’s direction. Once they had pushed me close enough for me to reach out and touch him, Julia and Gordon left quietly.
I cautiously called out Christopher’s name softly. When he didn’t respond, I reached out and stroked his hand. His skin was no longer cold and clammy. Instead, he was warm and full of life, and it felt just like how it did back when he held my own hands and caressed them too.
I carefully crawled into his embrace and placed his arm over my waist. My tears flowed freely and silently. His arms were my own personal safe haven, and whenever I was with him, it felt like he could block all the negativity, pain, and suffering away from me.
“I will miss you so, so much, Christopher. We beat everything — even a shipwreck — but I guess I wasn’t strong enough to conquer my own lifetime. I bet I must have been a terrible person in my past life for God to punish me like this.”
I stroked his face carefully. He had lost so much weight that he was practically skin and bones at this point. I gently kissed his forehead and then pecked him on the lips.
“If I could go back in time, I would never have gone and met you. That way, you’d always be happy and could live your life as Christopher Lane.”
